.: fat free zone :.

WARNING: this is going to be a very long vent.

Sometimes I forgot that I am considered obese by my friends & family here, and they love to remind me. My mom keep on giving me fashion advices for fat people (fat people don't wear wools and flannels, my flabby arms should be covered, you'll look ugly with that or this), discouraging me from trying on clothes in stores that don't carry XL sizes (although I did fit into several medium sizes due to the shape & style), and taking over some of my jeans because I won't fit them anymore anyways... She's actually going to find a diet doctor for me because 'nobody likes a fat girl'. But the major blow came from my best friend who always cheers me up and supports me. She keeps on prodding my arms with her finger and repeating how fat I am, and asking what happened to me.(were you stressed? Did you eat too much? Too much Starbucks?) Then the routine started: probably you shouldn't wear this and that, you shouldn't eat this and that, no more this and that. She was so upset I got fat and she wanted to ask my other friends' opinions on whether I got really fat or it was only her imagination. I was really anxious: not only all of them are married & pregnant & settled, they all look great! I've never felt more like a failure in my life. Yes, I am aware that it is my fault and yes, I am aware that they meant well. But right now I feel like a monster and I don't want to venture outside of my room, and everytime I look at food that I love I feel so guilty my tummy hurts. Shall I ignore the harsh comments and eat at my heart's desire, or shall I succumb to their 'gentle warning' and stop eating?